When Personalities Clash
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Ryan and I are so different. We disagree on so many things. Our interests aren't even in the same realm. We are total opposites.
We don't agree about politics.
We don't agree about parenting.
We don't agree about ice cream flavors.
How on earth have we managed to stay happily married for twenty years?
The answer to that question is simple: We learned about personality differences, and we use them to our advantage.
You see, those differences that sometimes annoy the heck out of us can be used to strengthen our marriage.
Where I am weak, Ryan is strong. And vice versa.
Ryan loves details. He likes to have things all planned out, and he's skilled at making sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed. I'm more spontaneous and would rather fly by the seat of my pants. Sometimes when I have to sit down and work through too many details I get overwhelmed and feel panicky. So when we need something planned, it's wise for me to just turn it over to Ryan and let him run with it. Everything gets planned thoroughly, and I don't have to do it. It's a win-win.
Early on in our marriage, before I understood personality differences, it drove me insane when Ryan wanted every detail planned out. It drove him crazy that I wouldn't plan the details (or I'd plan them badly). One book made all the difference for us: Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer.
In her book, Florence includes a personality test. Ryan and I both took the test and laughed our heads off at the accuracy. We then delved into the chapters of the book to understand our strengths and weaknesses. That helped us learn to work together as a team and to utilize each other's strengths, overlook annoyances, and fill in the gaps for each other's weaknesses.
That book revolutionized our marriage.
Once we had kids, that book helped us understand our children in a way we could not have otherwise.
Personality Plus is the book we recommend most often in our communication coaching business. Our clients need to understand the people around them in order to communicate effectively. So many personality tests do a great job describing personalities, but they don't go far enough in explaining what to do with that information.
That's where Personality Plus excels. It digs deep, gets real, and tells exactly how to relate to each personality type.
Ryan says this information has helped him to be a better salesman as well because he quickly recognizes a client's personality and can give them what they need based on that information.
If you're baffled by your spouse or kids, this book is for you. If you're annoyed by the quirks of those around you, this book is for you. If you just want to understand and relate to people better, this book is for you.
It's an absolute must-read.
Get yours here (affiliate link):