It's no surprise that many parents struggle to control the amount of time their children spend behind screens each day. Kids have access to phones, tablets, computers, and televisions both at school and at home. Setting limits on screen time can be a challenge, but it must be done if we want to promote healthy family relationships.

We all know that online relationships are not the same as face-to-face ones. Social media makes it easy to stay connected with our friends and family, but online connections can never take the place of in-person interactions. When we're face-to-face with someone we can have more meaningful conversations, utilize body language and other nonverbal cues, and experience connection on a deeper level. There is a time and place for online connections, but the importance of face-to-face interactions cannot be overlooked.

In order to have face-to-face interactions, we must teach our kids to put their phones down.

Easier said than done, I know.

If you're struggling to get your kids to put their phones down, it's imperative that you establish family guidelines, or "House Rules," regarding screen-time in your home. The following tips may help you:

1. Set a good example. This means you'll have to put your phone down, too. Your kids need to see you model the behavior you expect of them, so set aside times each day that you will stay off your phone, laptop, and tablet. Completely unplug for a few hours each day. You will probably find that you're less stressed, and you'll show your family that they are your priority.

2. Establish "House Rules" for device usage. Some families have a basket on the table by the door so everyone can deposit their devices in it each evening. Other families have designated times when devices are not allowed. For example, many families don't allow devices during meals. Others don't allow devices to be used after 7pm. Gather your family together and work as a team to set guidelines that are appropriate for your family. 

3. Use the device-free time to strengthen your relationships. Don't just sit there in awkward silence. Use your device-free time to discuss important issues, play board games, tell stories, and laugh together. This may take some practice, and that's okay. It doesn't always come naturally, but don't give up. Keep working on it.

Getting kids off their phones may not be easy, but it is important. We all need to get out from behind our screens so we can have real-life conversations with the people we care about. Over time, those face-to-face interactions will make our relationships stronger.

We loaded our five children into our minivan for a family trip. After everyone was buckled, we backed out of our driveway and noticed that our gas tank indicator showed "140 miles to empty."

Our destination was 141 miles away.

I suggested to my husband, Ryan, that we stop to fill up at the closest gas station on our way, which is 12 miles from our house. Ryan disagreed and thought we should wait to fill up until closer to our final destination.

I prefer to have a full gas tank before starting a trip. I don't like to watch the miles tick down and wonder if we'll be able to find a gas station when our tank is close to empty. Ryan would rather wait until later to fill up because we might find a lower gas price at a gas station closer to our destination.

Who is right?

I'd like to say that we calmly came to a quick solution to our disagreement. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

Instead, we spent the entire 12 miles to the closest station arguing about it, all with the kids witnessing our every word.

That 12 miles felt like it took days. 

Eventually, Ryan relented. He pulled into the gas station and got out to pump the gas. I think he even slammed his door as he got out (but that might just be my interpretation). He was only outside for a couple seconds, and then he got back in the car and started it. He muttered under his breath, "I forgot my wallet, and we have to go back home to get it."

Silence ensued until our oldest son, Maguire, piped up and stated, "Wow, Dad, it's a good thing we didn't drive all the way and then get gas like you wanted to."

I'd like to say that I did not revel in the feeling of "being right" for a little while, but that would be a lie. 

Thankfully Ryan laughed, apologized for being stubborn, and agreed with Maguire that he was happier to find out this close to home that he didn't have his wallet with him. I apologized, too. We talked, and everyone laughed the whole way back to our house to retrieve the wallet. 

It turned out comical, but we could have done better.

Husbands and wives are generally very different people. Physical differences aside, husbands and wives often have very different personalities. They look at the world from different perspectives. They solve problems in different ways. These differences can make for amazing teamwork, but they can also lead to serious disagreements.

Ryan is very detail-oriented and likes to map out a plan before doing anything. In hindsight, he says that getting gas at our nearby station was not in his original plan, so he became inflexible. He struggles when his plans are disrupted. On that day, my idea to get gas closer to home was the disruption of his plan.

I like to have gas in the tank before a trip so I don't have to think about any of the details during the trip. I hate details and plans, so I get them out of the way before I can have fun. In hindsight, I realize his plan was equally valid (minus the wallet situation), and might have even saved us money.

Neither of us was right, and neither of us was wrong. We just had a difference of opinion. We disagreed. We argued about it because we are both stubborn and wanted to get our own way. Instead of arguing, we both should have shown some humility and grace. Then we could have discussed our options and made a decision we could both live with. We both need to be more flexible. We both need to compromise more. We are real people who often get this right, but at times we obviously don't.

Disagreements will always occur. Diffusing them takes love, understanding of different personalities, and a willingness to compromise. Love demands that we fight our individual need to be right, and work together as a team instead. We need to build each other up in order to truly fill the tank. 

 

Election season is well underway, and so is the nastiness.

There is yelling, fighting, lying, spreading of misinformation, and name-calling.

And I'm not talking about the candidates.

Rather, I'm talking about friends. I'm talking about their posts, articles, and memes on social media. I'm talking about folks who are otherwise nice, polite, and level-headed. But there is something about politics that turns even the most angelic people I know into big-yapped, mind-possessed demons.

With quite a long way to go until the presidential election itself, how can you keep your friends while productively adding to the overall political conversation?

1. Know what the heck you're talking about. Most of what I see and hear is ignorant at best and absolutely false at worst. If you are going to discuss politics, you need to educate yourself so not to sound like a total moron. Feel free to borrow your kids' U.S. Government textbooks and refresh your knowledge. Use Google to read about governmental structure and history from reputable sources. Consider news stories from multiple news outlets. However you choose to do it, just do it. I beg of you. Be intelligent, and sound intelligent.

2. Ask questions rather than make statements. Most folks get themselves into trouble by making inflammatory statements that benefit no one. These statements will never positively influence someone else, so there is no point in posting them. You will offend people and lose friends. Rather, be open to a discussion by asking questions. Then, actually consider the answers you receive. Be respectful. You don't have to change your mind on an issue, but wouldn't it be awesome to see it from someone else's perspective? You might just find yourself becoming a deep thinker. Ask questions, and then listen. Novel idea, I know.

3. Refuse to post (or repost) stupidity. This should go without saying, but most (if not all) political memes are stupid and/or wrong. They contain incorrect information, false or misleading "facts," and are rude. Don't be the friend who fills up everyone's newsfeed with these political piles of dog doo. A good rule of thumb is to ask if what you're about to post will benefit those who will see it. If not, don't post it. That would be stupid.

4. Check, double-check, and triple-check your posts for accuracy. Don't believe everything you read, and for goodness' sake, don't repost everything you read. Check the dates on articles to be sure they are still relevant. Research more information on your topic before posting anything to be sure your information is reliable. If you cannot find supporting evidence, err on the side of not posting. That way, you won't look like an absolute idiot.

5. Be humble and kind. That is great advice from Tim McGraw, which is especially useful during this presidential election season. Be nice. Treat others how you would like to be treated. Learn to appreciate and respect differences. Make it your mission to stay positive. Keep your mouth shut tight and your fingers off the keyboard whenever you want to get negative. Walk away. I'm serious. Some things are better left unsaid (maybe even most things). 

This election season can be fun and informative. We have so much to learn from those around us. Everyone has opinions that are worthy of sharing (in a respectful way, of course), and it sure doesn't hurt any of us to listen and consider them. If you do, you'll keep your friends during this election season, and you just might learn something new along the way. Imagine that! 

 

This article also appears in The Huffington Post.

 

Listen to Carrie discuss this article and how to keep your friends during this election:

 

So, you have to give a speech or presentation. Most people will have to give one at some point.

Just the thought of that can bring on serious bouts of anxiety for most people. 

What will I say?

Do I need Power Point slides?

Will I stay within my time limit?

How do I even begin?

Those are all great questions. We'll deal with the others in later articles, but in this article we'll stick with how to start. Starting properly will reduce the amount of anxiety involved and get the speech headed in the right direction right off the bat.

When I need to write a speech, I start with a topic sentence. The first thing I do is write out one sentence that very clearly states my topic. It might include what I want the audience to learn through my speech. For example, a topic sentence I wrote for a recent speech was, "You can trust God with your children." Obviously, my talk was written for a church setting. Your audience may be different, but the point is to write your topic sentence first. Once it is written you will be able to weed out ideas later if they do not support your topic.

Next comes the brainstorming process. I call it a "brain dump." For this brain dump, I write out my topic sentence in big letters across the top of a sheet of paper. Then I set a timer for 20 minutes and write down all the ideas, stories, and facts I can think of that will support my topic sentence. I write down everything that pops into my mind for the full 20 minutes. The ideas don't necessarily need to be clear or worded properly at this point. The goal is simply to write down every idea or fact that I might possibly want to include in my speech. This brain dump may need to be repeated 3-5 times over the course of a few days in order to get all the ideas onto paper.

Then I look over all the ideas from my brain dumps. Any idea, story, or fact that does not relate to my topic sentence gets the ax at this point. Those unnecessary items might be saved for a future or separate talk, but they are taken out of the current one. This is the time to weed out anything that will not support my topic sentence.

The remaining items then need to be organized into a workable order. This might mean that they need to be listed in chronological order or some other meaningful order. Usually I simply go back through the list and number them. Keep in mind that any of this can be changed later.

Once I have a rough idea where I am going with all of these ideas, I write my opening statement. This might be a paragraph or two. The opening should be strong and should let the audience know the topic or where the speech is going. I'm not saying that I state my topic sentence verbatim (that would probably be boring), but l do make sure the audience is told where we are headed.

After my opening statement is finished, I like to write my closing remarks. Again, this might be a paragraph or two. The closing should be strong and have a definitive end. No audience wants to listen to a speaker drone on and on or go off on tangents, so I keep my closing concise. I like to end with one memorable statement.

Once the opening and closing are written, it is time to outline all the ideas from my brain dumps. This outline becomes the "map" for my speech. It doesn't need to be too detailed at this point. Also, keep in mind that anything can be changed later on as the process progresses. I inevitably reword my opening and closing statements and also my outline as I work on my talk and practice it.

Visually, this is the outline I create to start working on a speech:

• Opening Statement
• Brain Dump detail #1
• Brain Dump detail #2
• Brain Dump detail #3
• **Continue with as many Brain Dump details as are appropriate for the speech and time limit**
• Closing Remarks and Statement

This brain dump and outlining process can work for a variety of speech or presentation types. Brain dumps and outlining are not the only part of the speech-creating process, but they are a great way to start. 

The holiday season is upon us. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or something else, this time of year can be overwhelming and filled with stress. The shopping mall is something like a nightmare, there are family dynamics to deal with, and our children get overtired and fussy. Holidays should be a time when we strengthen our relationships, but often it is the opposite.

How can we maintain some sanity in the midst of all the chaos?

1. Take a deep breath. Literally. Preferably while soaking in a hot bubble bath. We all need a few minutes to ourselves. A hot bath is relaxing, and we can enjoy the silence or even a few softly played Christmas songs on Pandora. Whether it's a hot bath, reading a good book, or some other activity you enjoy, be sure to take a little time each day to unwind. Now exhale.

2. Avoid the stores during peak times. The craziest time to shop each day is during the rush-hours right after work. Generally this means avoiding the stores between 4pm and 6pm. A great time to pick up your necessities is late at night after your kids go to bed. The stores will be less busy, and you won't be dragging toddlers through a crowd. Your spouse can stay home with the kids (they'll be sleeping anyway).

3. Make a gameplan for your family's holiday schedule well in advance. Having this in place will allow you to focus on the events that are the most important to your family. You can say no to the rest. That way you won't get overbooked and exhausted trying to keep up with it all. You don't have to agree to go caroling with friends on five different nights. Choose things that will work for you (and that you actually want to do!), write them on the calendar, and stick to the plan!

4. Give away your possessions. I don't mean give away everything you own. Rather, empty out some closets. Have the kids purge their toybox. Drop off a few boxes of stuff at Goodwill. Make room in your house for the new things you will inevitably get during this holiday season. It's a win-win because you will make space for new things, and someone else will get to enjoy and appreciate the things you no longer need.

5. Keep the main thing the main thing. There is a reason for the season. Stay focused on that. In the end, it's not about the parties, gifts, and never-ending delicious goodies. Focus on doing good things for others. Drop off a gift basket to a family in need. Send an anonymous gift card to someone. Shovel your neighbor's sidewalk, or do some volunteer work. It is extremely difficult to focus on our own selfish issues at the same time we are focused on helping someone else. Focusing outward helps us not to be focused inward. Don't forget what this season is really about.

If you are successful at those five steps, you will have a better chance of staying sane this holiday season. Nothing will ever be perfect, but you can enjoy this time rather than dread it.

Have you ever thought about what goes on behind the scenes with the families you see everyday? Some of them sure look picture-perfect, don't they? My husband, Ryan, and I have learned that isn't always the case. For example, our most recent family portrait looks like any other happy family. It's easy to look at others and compare ourselves. We imagine other people's lives to be perfect, and sometimes it is hard to measure up to the picture we see.

That portrait of our family appears in our church directory. It appears next to pages full of other perfect family photos. All of us are smiling, all of us are wearing nice clothes, and all of us look like everything is going great.

But would anyone guess by looking at our picture that we were tense that day? We had difficulty getting everyone dressed on time. Our boys kept fighting. Ryan and I kept telling them through clenched teeth to be nice and stop arguing. Our baby girls were crabby. The picture was taken during their naptime, and they cried during most of the photo session. Our individual pictures of the kids show Moxie with red-rimmed eyes and a pacifier filling her mouth. The photo was taken during the summer, and we were all sweating. I was worried my face would be too shiny. Marin would not allow us to put her down, and Moxie would not let go of my bracelet. Maverick was rambunctious, and tripped over an umbrella light. Ryan wasn't happy to be wearing a suit. More than one of us cried that day.

To top it off, after we all got situated (I decided to ignore Moxie gripping my bracelet), the photographer told us to say "cheese". At that moment, our son, Maguire screamed out "whiskey!" instead, and the photo was taken. The family seen in that portrait was just trying to get through the photo session unscathed. We lived. And the pictures didn't turn out half bad.

I'm sure each family that had their picture taken that day has a story to tell. We all may smile when prompted, but there is more to each story. It is only by connecting with others and building genuine, deep relationships with others that the perfect picture dissipates and we learn each other's reality. It isn't always easy to let others in. It isn't always convenient. It leaves us vulnerable. It can be messy. But I have to tell you... it can be among life's biggest blessings.

We have gotten to know many couples and their families over the years on a deeper level. Our "masks" come off, the picture-perfect image subsides, and we get real. The friendships we have developed are amazing. We are blessed by friends who accept us, flaws and all. We are blessed by friends who allow us to make mistakes. We are blessed by friends who share their concerns, fears, and joys. We celebrate each other's victories and we pray through each other's defeats. We laugh together, cry together, and share our hearts. They know the real people behind our "perfect" portrait, and we know them.

I hope you have people in your life like that. If not, it is never too late to connect and dig deeper. I would be lost without those friends. I am thankful for them everyday. Thank God they are not perfect, and thank God they understand I'm not perfect, either. I'm so thankful they allow me to be me... because if I kept smiling like that portrait all the time my cheeks would get really, really sore. It takes too much energy to be that perfect all the time; I would rather just be real. We might be perfect for a moment in a photograph, but eventually someone has to scream "whiskey!"

The most important rule in public speaking is to know your audience. You will not be your most effective unless you do.

Several years ago, we were speakers at a business seminar in New Jersey. We were scheduled to fly out of Flint, Michigan, on Friday, with the seminar Saturday evening. Unfortunately, a major blizzard hit. Our flight left Flint without issue, but when we landed in Detroit for our connection to New Jersey, we were informed our flight was canceled. The next available flight wouldn't be until late Saturday morning.

So much for getting into town early.

We stayed overnight in Detroit and drove through the blizzard the next morning back to the airport. After over an hour of de-icing, our flight was the only one that took off before they canceled all other flights. We arrived in New Jersey only a couple hours before we were scheduled to speak.

Our luggage did not arrive with us. In fact, we did not see our luggage until two weeks later when it was delivered to our home in Michigan. Incidentally, the second most important rule in public speaking is to always put the clothes you plan to wear during your talk into your carry-on.

We knew we had some serious juggling to do. We like to arrive early. We like to meet with people we'll be speaking to. We like to learn about the town, the heritage, and the company we're working with. We had done a lot of leg work from home prior to this day, but there is nothing like chatting with the actual people involved. We like to know what makes them tick and what is on their hearts. So when our hosts picked us up from the airport, we used the 25 minute commute to fill in the gaps.

The couple who picked us up became fast friends. We asked them countless questions. They filled us in on everything, including the local culture. We were speaking very close to New York City and were informed that there were many different cultures represented at this particular meeting. For example, there were many religious leaders present whose traditions and cultures differ from mine. This was important to know because I am a very "huggy" or "touchy-feely" person by nature, which would not have gone over well at all with this crowd who did not believe in touching anyone of the opposite gender who is not your spouse. Our hosts saved me from a major faux pas, and having this knowledge helped me to respect their different beliefs.

They also clued us in on the particular challenges their team members were facing. They shared their group's strengths and weaknesses. They told us about a few of the group's leaders, who we made sure to name during our talks. Knowing this background information made our talks so much more effective because we were able to give this group exactly what it needed at that time. We tailored our own skills and experiences specifically for them.

Knowing your audience is crucial. Chatting with folks ahead of time and asking lots of questions is absolutely essential to your success as a speaker. If you speak to their needs, your talk will help them move forward. Bringing about positive change is the ultimate goal. It won't happen if you don't know what the group needs to change.

There is another benefit to knowing your audience: you will make life-long tremendous friendships along the way. Some of the couples who have hosted us at speaking events have become some of our closest friends. That New Jersey couple who hosted us regularly keeps in touch. They will be cherished friends for life.

Take the time to know your audience. The old saying is true: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Care enough to know them. Know them well enough to speak directly to them and their needs. It matters.

 

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Communication roadblocks can appear in many, many forms, and they seem to reappear in different forms throughout our lives. They can involve fear, lies, gossip, discouragement, exaggeration, nastiness, fighting, and even the total opposite-- the silent treatment. All of these communication issues become roadblocks to us moving forward in our most important relationships. Some are more obvious than others, but all of them need to be dealt with. We can build others up with our words or tear them down. Communication roadblocks need to be resolved quickly.

Once I saw on Pinterest a sign that said, “Before You Speak, THINK.”
Each letter of “think” stands for something. THINK stands for:

Is it True?

Is it Helpful?

Is it Inspiring?

Is it Necessary?

Is it Kind?

Basically, if what we want to say doesn’t meet that criteria, it probably doesn’t need to be said. If we hold our speech to those standards, we would get into far less trouble and experience fewer roadblocks. We would build each other up rather than tear each other down.

Think about it... If something you’re about to say is not true, or you aren’t sure whether it’s true or not, don’t say it. This one is first because this one can sure cause the most harm. There is nothing worse than spreading false information.

If what you’re about to say isn’t helpful, don’t say it. Words that aren’t helpful can be harmful. It could be gossip. It could be a complaint. Complaining is never helpful; offering a solution to a problem while offering to help, however, is helpful.

If what you’re about to say isn’t inspiring, don’t say it. This one goes to whether what you’re about to say will build someone up or tear them down. It’s a big deal because once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. Most negative things we say don’t need to be said. And even when we have an issue we need to confront someone with, we can say it with love and build them up rather than be nasty.

If what you’re about to say isn’t necessary, don’t say it. Do you really NEED to say it? Are you really the one who needs to say it? Does the other person really need to hear it? If it isn’t necessary, don’t say it. Just because I don’t like your jeans, doesn’t mean it’s necessary for me to tell you. It’s not my job to point out everyone’s misdeed. So if it isn’t necessary, don’t say it.

Lastly, if what you’re about to say isn’t kind, don’t say it. Nasty critiques are not kind. Our speech, even when we’re presenting an issue to someone, can be kind, especially if we pray through it or think it through BEFORE we say it. There are so many things in the heat of the moment that I want to say, but when I pause to consider them I realize they aren’t kind. Making myself feel better by saying them anyway will only make me feel good in the moment. I’ll regret it later, and I might ruin a relationship at the same time.

If you have a communication roadblock, the easiest way to fix it is to utilize emotional control. When our emotions go crazy, we say things we should not. The best thing is to pause before we speak, especially when we’re angry, embarrassed, or caught off-guard. A good statement is, “I’m going to have to consider that and talk to you about it later.” Admit you are upset and need a little time to cool off first. What we say in the heat of the moment usually doesn’t turn out well. We end up looking nasty and immature. Other people become afraid of our reactions. That is especially true in marriage, and with our kids. We could all learn to tame our tongues a little more and use our words for good rather than evil. Print this out and stick it somewhere that it will be helpful for you, like on your bathroom mirror, fridge, or on your desk at the office:

 

Have you ever thought church-going people should be perfect? Or at the very least, they should be more perfect than those who don't attend church? Have you ever felt like the church is full of people who gossip, lie, or cheat? Guess what? You are correct! Christians are not perfect (far from it!), and we are all learning while we are on this earthly journey. Hopefully we can offer each other grace as we all learn to turn from those sins.

A friend of mine was hurt this week by someone at his church. Without getting into details, the hurt was caused in part by gossip. Gossip can be an interesting topic because while we recognize it in its most obvious form, it exists in endless forms that we don't always categorize as gossip. It can be just as destructive though, and the end result is strife. Strife within the church is as deadly as poison.

For example, if I were to come to you and say that "I heard Sally is cheating on her husband", you would have no problem recognizing that as gossip. It may be true, or it may be false, but by me spreading it I am definitely gossiping. We hopefully do our best not to take part in this type of obvious gossip (we all know the Bible tells us not to), but what about the more subtle types?

What if I came to you and said "I'm concerned about Marion's marriage; please pray for her." Is that gossip? Or how about "I'm unhappy with the preacher's last sermon." Is that gossip? Or "I saw Harry at the doctor's office today; I wonder what could be wrong." Or "Bless her heart, she did that thing again." Is that gossip?

Answers to that question may vary. Sure, sometimes when we say certain things they come from a genuine concern. But, truthfully, at other times our motives are not pure. We might be trying to advance our own positions, we might be clinging too hard to our own ministry at the expense of another, or we might be trying to get revenge. Other times, we might just be expressing a negative thought without realizing the far-reaching consequences it might have for someone else.

So here's the deal. Let's not gossip. Let's choose not to be negative. If we don't have something nice to say, let's not say anything at all. Actually, let's take it one step farther... if we don't have something nice to say, FIND SOMETHING NICE TO SAY. There are always positives to point out if we look for them. Any idiot can point out the negatives (and they often do). Ephesians 4:29 tells us, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Let's be known as "good-finders"!

A key factor in this is to take our issues to an offending person directly. We shouldn't discuss them with anyone who is not directly involved in the situation. I really hate to find out that someone has talked about me behind my back or complained about me without giving me the first chance to rectify the situation. I'm sure others feel the same way. If we respect and love each other as brothers and sisters of faith, we owe each other that much. We should never, ever walk down the hall of the church and hear a negative word spoken about anyone else. Ever. That is not love; it is gossip. We can, and should, do better. And let's be quick to give grace during the times we screw it up.

Would you like to know the secret to becoming the most amazing conversationalist EVER?

LISTEN to the other person with genuine interest.

Most people enjoy talking about themselves (myself included!), but most people don't get to do that very often. They are swamped with work, kids, problems at home, and financial issues. Their usual conversations revolve around those topics, so they don't usually get a chance to discuss their interests, hobbies, or what is on their heart. If you take a genuine interest in those things and actively listen to what they have to say, you will be a great conversationalist and friend.

When I was younger, I mistakenly assumed that the way to have a lot of friends or be an interesting person was to impress everyone with myself and my accomplishments. It didn't take long to realize that most people do not care about that stuff. What they do care about is being heard. I learned to talk about myself less and ask more questions about the other person. I have been amazed by how easy it is to make friends and have great conversations when I turn my focus to the other person.

Quite honestly, this shift is not difficult! I truly like people and finding out more about them. It is astonishing how gifted and talented other people are. Everyone has some hidden talent that they love to discuss if asked! It's amazing to hear other people's experiences... some people have sure overcome some adversity in their lives! Others have achieved huge successes that surprise me and make me so glad I asked! I have found that I have something in common with everybody, and there is some way for us to connect no matter who I'm talking to. Other people are INTERESTING! Each one was hand-crafted by God; no wonder they are so fascinating!

Someone once pointed out that humans have two ears but only one mouth, and we should listen and speak in that proportion. Makes sense, doesn't it?!

By listening more, it's easier to understand why people are the way they are. When I know where they've been in their lives I can empathize with their struggles and offer encouragement when appropriate. By listening more, I can network more effectively. For example, by talking to a woman recently I discovered she was a retired artist who loved to create business logos just for fun now. I have a friend who popped into my mind who could benefit from her service and I was able to connect the two. Everyone excels at something and it's an awesome challenge to discover what it is and encourage them on their journey!

So the moral of this story is that the best way to be a friend is to listen more and be genuinely interested in the other person. The saying goes, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Care enough to ask questions and learn about someone else. That is more impressive to someone else than all the accolades on your resume!