Can I be real with you?

Like, very real?

Our twin daughters will turn 9 next month (how did THAT happen??!). So that means it was almost nine years ago that Ryan and I began looking at ways to bring our speaking and communication business online instead of traveling so much for speaking engagements.

In those nine years, we've both learned a lot. 

I've learned there are more online businesses than I can count at any given time, but there aren't nearly as many that last long-term. Most business owners tend to treat their business like a hobby, and then it falls away when the owner loses interest or doesn't achieve overnight success.

I've learned that following everyone else's miraculous "5 steps to 7-figures" nets you about 7-cents. If that. Because it's their plan, which probably has very little to do with your business, your audience, your personality, your motivation, and your dreams. Can you learn from them? Sure. But you can't become a carbon copy. It just doesn't work that way.

I've learned you have to consistently show up. And consistently plan. And consistently build relationships. And consistently work hard. And consistently learn more. Sensing a theme? (Hint: be consistent).

I've learned that people like to be treated with respect. They will not hire you or buy from you if you spam them, use them, or try sleazy sales tactics on them. For whatever reason, people don't like being treated like doormats. They don't like feeling used.

Imagine that.

But most of all, I've learned that in order to be successful you have to be authentic. You have to build real long-lasting relationships. You have to do things in a way that feels right to you and that honors your customers and clients. You can't shortcut this with someone else's 5-step plan for 7 figures. You can't disappear from social media for weeks on end when you get bored or frustrated. You can't fly by the seat of your pants. You can't post something on social media today and wake up to 3.2 million dollars in your bank account tomorrow.

Success doesn't happen that way.

What I've found is that success is very personal. 

It comes from personal relationships you cultivate over time. It comes from hundreds of virtual coffee chats, networking opportunities, collaborations, partnerships, and confidence in what you have to offer.

It comes from serving people, helping people, and building people up. 

It comes from consistently showing up to encourage others, answer their questions, and help them move forward.

Successful businesses are built one comment on social media at a time. One Facebook Live at a time. One coffee chat at a time. One laugh at a time. One act of thoughtfulness at a time.

All of it done your way, with your own personality and uniqueness shining through in the relationships you build.

So let's get back to basics. Building that kind of communication foundation will support your business for years to come. Your way. In a way that is right for you. 

Ready to learn more about communication? Click here to join our Speaking Society!

Each year, I like to create a speaking plan for every month of the year. Speaking is excellent for visibility and establishing expertise, so I like to be consistent with it. But not every type of speaking is perfect for every person.

There are so many speaking options. Podcast interviews, webinars, online and in-person workshops, speaking from stage, videos and courses, and Facebook Live are just a few of the options available.

How do you choose which is best for you?

Start with what you like. Are there certain formats that you enjoy more than others? Some of us like interview-style speaking where we're answering questions asked by someone else. Some of us like the interaction of leading a workshop. Some prefer to stand alone on stage and deliver a speech. Consider each option, and make a list of the ones you'd enjoy most.

Then think about which format would be best for your career or business currently. Are you focusing on getting more visible right now? Are you focused on appearing more of an expert in your field? Do you need to grow your following in the upcoming months? Each speaking format delivers a different result, so think through what you'd like to focus on and make a list of which speaking formats would best achieve your goals.

It's also important to consider your personal speaking skills and experience level. If you're new to speaking, Facebook Live may be a good option for getting started. It will help you gain confidence and hone your speaking skills. If you aren't experienced in crafting an entire speech, interview-style formats may be more your speed. If you're a seasoned speaker, maybe this year speaking from stage would be best for your career or business. Push beyond your current comfort zone, but have a plan for doing so. Begin where you are, and challenge yourself to move beyond your current level. If you're nervous about speaking or aren't sure where to begin, click here for details on how we can work together to get you stage-ready. 

Regardless of which formats you choose, be sure to create a speaking plan for each month of the year. You need the experience and visibility from speaking, so plan it out (flying by the seat of your pants is not a good plan). Don't leave it to chance.

Our Speaker Spotlight series puts the focus on speakers in our community. Iron sharpens iron, and we can all learn from the experiences of others. We asked questions and our speakers answered them. These answers come from Robin Walker.

Who do you most like to speak to? Tell us about your ideal audience.

I love speaking to business women in smaller groups of 10-25. We can really get to know each other and everyone gets some personal attention. It is perfect for workshops, because we can split into smaller groups or pairs as well.

What are your favorite topics to talk about or teach?

I can talk business all day, everyday! One of my favorites is idea generation and brainstorming. I also talk a lot about goal setting and taking action, as well as being intentional about building our businesses in collaboration with our family life.

What sets you apart from other speakers? What do your audiences love about you?

Three of my strengths (via Strength Finders 2.0) are communication, futuristic, and positivity. I encourage women out of their comfort zones, help them believe in themselves, and focus on bright and possible futures. I also include a lot of worksheets, hands on learning, and interactive groups, so that the audience keeps engaged and gets work done.

What does your dream speaking engagement look like? Describe it here.

I am hoping to launch it Summer of 2018! Stay tuned. If something doesn't exist, create it yourself. :) 

Bloopers happen to everyone. Tell us about one that happened to you. How did you handle it?

I have numerous Facebook Live bloopers (some of which Carrie has been witness to). Phone falling mid-Live is the most common. Usually I laugh, occasionally I delete if it was at the very beginning of the broadcast, then start over. Bloopers show your human side and people love them. 

How do you control your nerves during a speaking engagement?

I try to focus on the audience and not myself. I pray and ask for the words that the women need to hear, and ask to bring them joy and value. I have also been know to play loud music in the car to get out some extra energy.

What's the best advice you've ever gotten regarding public speaking?

PREPARE. 

What do you hope to accomplish with your speaking in the next 10 years?

I would love to be able to create unique workshop and speaking/training experiences that fit the needs of women in my group. Events that are what WE need, not just what has been done in the past. I have no desire to be in front of millions, just a small group that I can love on and support and watch flourish. 

I’m Robin Walker, and I’ve used my 15+ years of running my own business and years of public teaching experience and to create The Women’s Business Workshop. I 'retired' from teaching when I had my oldest daughter. The plan was to be a stay at home mom, but business captured my heart, and 4-5 businesses later, here I am.

I help women start, build, and up level their business through online resources, in-person workshops, 1:1 business coaching, and a 2 day annual conference in Lake Geneva, WI. 

Connect with Robin:

Website: www.WomensBusinessWorkshop.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/lakesideconference

Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/WomensBusinessWorkshop

Our Speaker Spotlight series puts the focus on speakers in our community. Iron sharpens iron, and we can all learn from the experiences of others. We asked questions and our speakers answered them. These answers come from Damita McGhee.

Who do you most like to speak to? Tell us about your ideal audience.

I love speaking to women who are ready to begin their entrepreneurial journey from their home office. It’s fun when they are full of excitement and trepidation.

It’s something so inspirational about the woman who balances her business and her household. 

What are your favorite topics to talk about or teach?

1. Expanding your vision
2. Balancing building a brand, business and babies
3 Trusting your gut
4. The Sweet Spot-Where your passion and purpose intersect

What sets you apart from other speakers? What do your audiences love about you?

I am so relatable and honest. I realize a lot of people have passion. However, talking from a passionate position is an integral part of my speaking style. 

I want women to feel better after they have left my presence than they did before we met. It’s imperative to me that I inspire women to be the best version of themselves possible. 

What does your dream speaking engagement look like? Describe it here.

A room (whether 5, 50, 500 or 5000) full of women who are ready to take their businesses to the next level. They understand that personal development is part of the growth process and they invest in themselves. They are ready to live outside of their comfort zones. 

The room is full of positive, passionate women ready to walk in their full potential. 

Bloopers happen to everyone. Tell us about one that happened to you. How did you handle it?

Yes they do. 

The most recent was just last week. I have a weekly online TV show. Unfortunately, I just could not get Facebook Live to work for me. My guest was waiting to join but I just couldn’t navigate my phone properly. And this was after I tried BeLive.tv and Zoom webinar. Ultimately, my guest had to go Live and invite me on. 

How do you control your nerves during a speaking engagement?

Just breathe through it. I take the focus off of me and think about the people in the audience who need the message. In my mind, God connected us for a reason. 

What's the best advice you've ever gotten regarding public speaking?

Carrie told me something very powerful. I can’t remember it exactly but it had to do with progress over perfection. 

What do you hope to accomplish with your speaking in the next 10 years?

I pray I impact millions of women across the world. We share something universal. We love our families and have a God given purpose. It is my sincere desire to help women connect the two. 

God designed each of us to accomplish what we alone are meant to contribute to this world. It is our destiny. I will help women realize that. 

Damita McGhee is a wife and mother of 3. After working in the corporate world 20 years, she became an Online Entrepreneur, Marketing/Brand Strategist and Motivational Speaker. 

Her personal mission is to help women understand we can have it a all. We can be sensational spouses, magnificent moms and powerful, profitable business owners with the right tools and resources. 

She teaches start up mompreneurs how to create a strong online brand and build profitable marketing/sales funnels. She has a passion for helping solo-mompreneurs get their businesses up and running.

She is a highly sought after motivational speaker and trainer. Her passion and sincere desire to see other women win is the driving force that has shaped her into the thriving entrepreneur she is today. It took 16 years to find her passion and purpose and now she is committed to helping other women do the same. 

Connect with Damita:

Website: www.damitamcghee.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/UnapologeticallyPassionateMOMpreneur

Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/UnapologeticallyPassionateMOMpreneurs 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/damitamcghee

The most important parts of any speech are the beginning and the end. The beginning sets the stage, engages the audience, and keeps their attention. The end puts the period at the end of the sentence. It closes the speech with a bang and helps the audience remember the speaker's message.

Or not.

There are so many ways an ending can go wrong. Watch this video to learn the most effective ways to end a speech:

Are you working on a speech? I'd love to help you develop a compelling beginning and a memorable ending (and all the stuff in the middle!). Click here to talk about all the ways we can work together.

Our community is full of amazing people! They are all so talented, and each one is so unique. They have so much to offer the world around us! They have different backgrounds, experiences, and areas of expertise. Needless to say, they are an impressive bunch!

A few weeks ago I asked them to post links to their recent blog posts and articles so I can share them with you. 

So.Much.Goodness!

Here are the best of the best. Check out this list, and read the ones relevant to you. Post them, share them, and learn from them.

I have.

5 Strategies to Help You Kick Your Stress Eating Habit, by Lori Evans

Successful Corporate Full-time Working Mom Transitions to Part-time Consultant – Stacie Buckley, by Suzanne Brown

How to Infuse Your Voice Into Your Copy, by Tara Bosler

Embracing the "Free" in Freelance Work, by Kathy Krueger

I'm 37, Not a Missed Opportunity, by Carrie Severson

Just a Chair: Letting Go of Stuff After Loss, by Shannon MacFarlane

Happy Back Tips, by Irena Miller

How an Entrepreneurial Sabbatical Saved My Life, by Erin Wilson

Empowered Health – Is my Baby Allergic to my Breastmilk?, by Veronica Lamb

Back to “Real” School: Transitioning from Schooling at Home to Bricks and Mortar, by Julie Ford

Ready to be part of our newest community, the Speaking Society? Click here to join.

We are surrounded by people we compare ourselves to. They are on social media with their frequent perfect tropical vacations. They're at church with their high-end handbags and heels. They're beside us at the starting line. They are sitting in the bleachers cheering on their child athlete. They're in Facebook groups. They're at work. They're at the grocery store. 

The problem is that we only see one sliver of their lives. We catch a glimpse. We see the carefully constructed representation of reality. We see the perfection.

We don't, however, always see the struggles, the challenges, and the failures. We don't see the profit statement. We don't see the hard work. We don't see the years of hard-won experiences and trials.

So why do we compare?

Friend, your only competitor is you.

Put the blinders on when it comes to others. They are a distraction that will hold you back from achieving your goals and dreams. Believe enough in yourself to look only at yourself.

Even if someone else has your same job title, he is not you. He can't do the job the same way you can. He doesn't have exactly the same background, experiences, and strengths. So don't doubt yourself.

Complement each other, rather than compete with each other.

Fill in each other's gaps, and utilize each other's strengths. Make referrals to others who do what you cannot. Hone your own skills.

This is your race to run, and you are your only competition.

Get support and encouragement from others in our Speaking Society! Click here to join.

It's inevitable that we'll wrong someone at some point. We'll say the wrong thing, react with anger, or hurt someone's feelings.

When it happens, how we handle it matters.

The best way is with an apology. 

A heartfelt apology can go a long way toward restoring the relationship. Unfortunately, many times apologies are muddled by one word: but.

When apologizing, it's important to allow the apology to stand alone. 

I'm sorry. 

"I'm sorry" should be the full statement. It shouldn't be "I'm sorry, but..."

When it's followed by the word "but" the apology is diminished. Adding "but" adds an excuse or tries to place blame elsewhere. Instead of adding "but," just take full responsibility. Be humble enough to simply say, "I'm sorry."

That one simple statement means everything.

The first five minutes are the most important of any speech. It's during those few minutes that you, as the speaker, have the opportunity to connect with your audience and keep their attention for the rest of your speech.

Or not.

Those five minutes can make you or break you.

Don't waste those precious minutes thanking the lunch crew or host. Don't waste those five minutes reiterating your introduction.

Don't waste those minutes with fluff.

Instead, fill those minutes with a powerful story, a thought-provoking question, or a stunning statistic. 

Start strong in those initial minutes. You only have one chance to make a first impression. Grab your audience's attention, and keep it.

To that end, it's important that you have rehearsed your first five minutes many times. You don't want to be grappling with it when you get on stage. You don't want to go off on a tangent, stumble over your words, or search for the right words.

Know your beginning, practice it until it's second nature, and use it to your advantage.

Let's work on your first five minutes together! Click here to talk about all the ways we can work together.

Our family went away on vacation earlier this summer. We were unplugged from our electronic devices, and it was absolutely wonderful. Before you dismiss this idea and say you could never unplug, please know that you can. 

And you need to.

Unplugging while on vacation required some work on our part before we went. Neither Ryan nor I could just leave town without prepping some things ahead of time. We had work projects to complete, articles to write and schedule in advance, autoresponders to turn on, and social media posts to create and schedule. Once all that was in place, our work ran smoothly in our absence.

It was important to us to be fully present with our family while on this vacation, so we did the necessary work ahead of time. We wanted to be in the moment. We wanted to look into our kids' eyes rather than into a screen. We needed to be rid of that gut knot that sometimes develops due to emails from unhappy customers, "urgent" text messages, or comparing ourselves to friends and family on social media.

Because we were unplugged, we relaxed. We shut off the notifications and endless buzzing and dinging. We talked to each other. We talked to our kids. We experienced the moments without distraction. We grew closer to each other by taking a break from business, work, and obligations.

Obviously, we can't do that all the time. Responsibilities don't disappear. I get that. But it sure was heavenly to take a break from all of that for awhile. We came home mentally rejuvenated and relaxed. The prep work beforehand was well worth it.

When was the last time you unplugged?